


I Feel Pretty

by rebeccaofsbfarm



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Androgyny, Established Relationship, Evan "Buck" Buckley Wears Makeup, M/M, Snapchat, gender non-conforming, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:01:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27495382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebeccaofsbfarm/pseuds/rebeccaofsbfarm
Summary: After Buck's curiosity is piqued when Eddie screenshots one of his snaps, he enlists Maddie to help him feel *pretty* for Eddie. When she's finished with him, he's surprised by how comfortable he feels in the gray area of gender expression.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Maddie Buckley, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 212





	I Feel Pretty

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dumbhuman](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dumbhuman/gifts).



> Sarah asked for Buck wearing eyeliner, and it sort of got away from me. So any emotional turbulence should be forwarded to Sarah. Not me. I'm just the messenger.

Buck wonders sometimes how such god-awful parents hit the genetic lottery when it came to beautiful children. He knows he’s not nothing to look at, but then he gets snaps from his sister, who is totally unlike him in so many ways, but even more beautiful for it, with dark eyes and angular features, and he’s struck by how pretty she is.

She sends him a snap from work, her hair falling down her shoulders, headset peeking out from under her long brown waves, and she’s applied one of those filters that smoothes out your blemishes and makes your lashes look miles long. She doesn’t need it, and he almost tells her as much, but instead he steadies his arm in front of him and takes a picture with the same filter.

He adds a caption over the photo.

**Damn, this filter works! Even I look pretty! 😜**

He sends it to his most recent contact, usually Maddie, then sets his phone down. When it vibrates, it’s a notification from Snapchat, but it’s not from Maddie.

**Eddie took a screenshot!**

When he clicks on the notification, he realizes that he’d chosen the wrong recipient, and rather than sending the picture to Maddie, he’d sent the picture to whoever he’d sent his last snap to. Thankfully, it’s only Maddie, Eddie, and Hen. As he considers Eddie’s immediate reaction, responses come in from the others, but none that confuse him as much as Eddie’s.

**Hen: You’re always the prettiest Buckaroo 😂**

**Maddie: It’s because you take after me 😉**

He ignores them in favor of returning to his chat with Eddie. Even without seeing his face, he knows him well enough to know that he’s flustered.

**Shit.**

**You can see that can’t you?**

**sure can babe 😂**

**you saving it for blackmail or something?**

**Or something…**

**👀👀👀**

**oh i see. you LIKE it huh? 😏**

**eds, do you think i’m pretty?**

**Sure Buck 🙄**

**Kidding. I love you 😘**

**don’t think i didn’t notice you avoided the question…**

**but i love you too**

**😘**

He chuckles to himself, his curiosity piqued by Eddie’s avoidance. He switches back to the chat with his sister, hoping they’re in a place where she’ll be willing to help him with a bit of a strange errand.

**mads, what you doing tonight?**

**can i get your help with something?**

**Does it involve a shovel and a tarp?**

**no, but it does involve your ulta rewards card**

**Say no more! I’m in 💃💃💃**

* * *

“This is a sex thing, isn’t it?” Maddie asks him when they meet outside the Ulta. It’s in a strip mall near some other shops, which may come in handy if his confidence holds out. “I mean, I don’t care if it is. I’m just curious.”

Honestly, Buck hasn’t thought that far ahead. All he knows is that Eddie is cagey about his reasons for keeping a rather androgynous photo of Buck on his camera roll, and Buck wants nothing more than to explore why.

“No? Maybe not?” Maddie gives him a discerning look, so he elaborates. “You got that snap from me earlier, right? The one with the beauty filter?”

“Yes baby brother, and you were very pretty,” she applauds him, reaching up to pinch his cheek. Buck scrunches his face at her in protest, and she laughs before leading him into the store.

“Well Eddie screenshotted it, like, _instantly_.”

“Oh? Oh! I see. Well that’s...huh.”

She seems to think this over, “I like Eddie. And I know he likes you. A lot. I can’t say I’m not a little surprised about this particular fantasy of his, if that is what’s happening here, but you have incredible bone structure, and I’ve always been jealous of your blue eyes. When I’m done with you, you’ll bring that man to his knees.”

His mouth opens reflexively, but he thinks better than to say what he’s thinking. _Well, good, because that’s exactly my intention_.

The sharp look Maddie gives him, her lips curving up into a reluctant smile, says she knows exactly what he would have said.

“So, where do you want to start?”

Buck scans over the aisles, totally out of his depth. He’s never messed around with makeup outside the occasional Halloween costume, and he never realized there was so _much_ of it. Sensing his discomfort, Maddie guides him to a section with brands that sound vaguely familiar, like Covergirl and Maybelline, and he starts to feel a little more comfortable as she picks up bottles of skin-colored liquid, holding them up to his face to match his skin-tone.

Without him noticing, she’d grabbed a basket, and without much input, begins tossing in product. Buck feels useless, so he tries to assist, wandering across the aisle to browse a display of tester lipsticks in an array of colors. He’s drawn to a deep berry color, and he picks it up for a closer look.

“Hey Mads, what about this?” he says, turning to show it to her.

Maddie snorts, “More power to you, but that’s Stila. Might want to look at the price tag.”

Buck turns back around, searching for the price, then picking his jaw up the floor, “Twenty-two American dollars for this?”

“Honestly, not even that bad,” Maddie shrugs. “But that’s why we’re staying over here. This is the cheap stuff, and I doubt it will stay on long enough for either of you to tell the difference.”

He is now very critical of the price tags as Maddie continues to grab pencils, and crayons, and...glosses? She seems bent on destroying his wallet, so he steers her toward some brand called...Wet ‘n Wild? _Oh that can’t be real_. But it is cheap, and she picks up a few pans of some sort of sparkly pigment, then reaches for what he assumes is lipstick in a similar shade to the berry he’d picked out.

“I actually think this color would look great on you,” she decides, adding it to the basket. “Now, how do you feel about gloss?”

“I...don’t?” he answers carefully, but then thinks a little harder. He’d kissed plenty of women over the years, knew what lip gloss looked like, what it tasted like. “I think it looks good, but I don’t like how sticky it is.”

“This one isn’t sticky at all,” she claims, before tossing another tube in the basket. He hopes she’s right, because the basket is nearly half full, which is saying something when the items are so small. “And let’s get you some micellar water so you can get it all off when you’re done.”

She hands him the basket, and he tries not to think about how heavy it is, wondering if it weighs as much as the chunk it’ll take out of his wallet. He follows her to the check out, and refuses to look at the total as the clerk rings them up.

“Man, I wish my husband would take me shopping for makeup,” the clerk mentions, trying to make small talk. Buck blanches, but Maddie is calm, taking enjoyment from his discomfort.

“Brother, actually,” Maddie corrects her, kindly, before adding a private joke. “He didn’t know what he was getting into, honestly.”

They share a feminine laugh, and Buck wonders how he got so deep in this elaborate scheme. Maddie hands him the bags, and they’re about to head back to their cars when Buck stops her.

“I think… I mean, can we go in here too?” he asks, pointing to the fast-fashion retailer next door. “I kind of want to lean into the look. Can you help me find something?”

Maddie claps her hands excitedly before heading into the next store. When they leave, his wallet is again lighter, but they manage to find a balance of clothes that push the boundaries of gender expression, but still make Buck feel comfortable and confident in his skin. He’d even agreed to some jewelry, which made him nervous, but in a hopeful, expectant way.

He walks Maddie to her car, about to take off to head to home when she offers to give him a lesson back at her place.

Buck realizes he hasn’t thought this far ahead. He knows there are tutorials on YouTube, but he doesn’t even know where to start. Maddie must sense his hesitation, because she adds, “Howie’s over at the Lee’s tonight. Mr. Lee needed help changing out a light fixture. He won’t be home until later, so you won’t have to explain anything to him if you don’t want to.”

He nods graciously, then offers to pick up sushi on his way over to her place. When he arrives, he finds her at her vanity and starts to wonder why he bought all this makeup when Maddie has drawers full of the stuff.

“You have different coloring,” Maddie answers his silent appraisal. “Besides, this is a one-time tutorial. Next time you’re on your own.”

 _Next time_. He hadn’t thought of this being a recurring event, but the idea of that thrills him. That is if Eddie likes it. God, he hopes Eddie likes it.

Maddie gives him tips over California rolls, showing him how to blend in foundation and contour his face to show off the angle of his jaw. She gives him some choice in eyeshadow, but shows him colors that complement his eyes and how to layer and blend them for a dramatic result.

It takes nearly all of his patience to learn how to apply liquid eyeliner, but after a number of tries he manages something passable. Next comes mascara, which is easy enough, but then Maddie pulls out false lashes, which are another ordeal, as she explains that he must glue these to his eyelids. They go back and forth, but Maddie is stubborn, and when Buck finally catches his own eyes in the mirror, he finds them framed by long lashes, his eyes looking strikingly blue in contrast.

“Okay, lips are last,” she narrates, showing him how to follow the natural line of his lips with a pencil, before pulling the applicator from the tube of lipstick. “Now this is a liquid lip, so it shouldn’t go anywhere. I have this one, and I can say from experience that it can take a beating.”

Her eyes connect with his in the mirror, smirking as he grimaces, “God, Mads. Too much.”

“Okay, don’t tell me that’s not relevant information,” she excuses, prompting him to roll his lips together to spread the lipstick, before pressing a folded piece of toilet paper to blot it, all of which she explains as she does it. “Make sure to give it a second to dry, then add the gloss.”

She turns him toward her so she can apply the gloss for him, and then he purses his lips instinctively. She lights up with her own success, before turning him back around to face the vanity mirror.

“Holy shit, Maddie,” he gasps, for the first time piecing together all the work they’d done. “I’m fucking gorgeous.”

She flips her hair over her shoulder proudly, before grabbing him by the shoulders, meeting his eyes in his reflection, “You look incredible. Honestly. Beyond my wildest expectations.”

He examines himself in the mirror, leaning forward to catch the way the gold shadow brings out the flecks in his irises, the way the soft highlight draws attention to the apples of his cheeks, and god, the lip gloss over the dark berry red makes him want to crawl through the mirror and kiss himself.

“You’ve outdone yourself Mads,” he praises her, before glancing at his watch. “Oh shit, Chris has a thing tonight. I told Eddie to meet me at my place. He’s probably already there.”

“Want to change here?” she asks, motioning to the bright yellow bag he’d tossed on the floor. He grabs it, ducking into the master bath to change before returning for her approval.

“Oh, absolutely. We made the right choice. He's going to die. You’re going to have to call the station for an ambulance to come pick him up off the floor. Honestly.”

Buck is pushing the boundaries of his own masculinity, and he isn’t entirely comfortable, but he isn’t uncomfortable either. Maddie had talked him into a black mesh shirt, which he’d questioned on the hanger, but on him looks _ridiculous_. It hugs his biceps, and makes his chest tattoos visible through the fine mesh. The skirt he’d found in the women’s section, and while it was meant to reach the floor, his height makes it so that the gauzy material skirts his calves, opening into a slit that runs up his leg. Around his throat are a series of silver chains, most notably a pendant with the word “Babygirl” emblazoned in slanted script. Maddie had even talked him into a fake septum ring, which surprisingly looks good on him. Maybe the next time he craves the needle, he’d consider one of these instead of a tattoo. He’s still wearing sneakers, but he figures if he’s quick he can grab his combat boots from the coat closet before Eddie notices him.

“Hold on, one last thing,” Maddie stops him, running into the bathroom and returning with hair product on her hands. He has to bend down so she can reach his hair, then she musses it so that the curls come out in full force, piling them up on his head. She takes a long look, before dragging a curl down to hang over his forehead, nodding with approval. “Knock him dead, baby brother.”

* * *

When Buck arrives back at his place, he sees that Eddie has beaten him there, his car in the visitor parking just near the entrance. He’s quiet as he can be when he opens the door, waiting until he’s managed to get his combat boots out of the closet before alerting Eddie to his arrival.

He’s in the den, not yet able to see him, but he begins shouting across the open apartment to appraise Buck of his day, “I still can’t believe there’s a chaperone rotation at that school. My parents never went on field trips, and now I’m only allowed two a year? At least we get some time alone while Chris has his overnight at the science museum. I just...why couldn’t we have gotten that instead of the zoo? We can go to the zoo any day.”

He lets Eddie rattle on as he ties the boots up, making sure the skirt doesn’t get caught, lets it cascade softly over the rough leather.

“Hey baby, speaking of time alone, I, uh, I’ve got a surprise,” Buck calls out nervously, shifting back and forth as he awaits Eddie’s reaction. “Think you can come here for a minute?”

He hears a heavy sigh from the sofa as Eddie sets aside whatever distraction he’d been using while he waited for Buck, and as he hears the footsteps rounding the stairs he begins to explain anxiously.

“So, uh, earlier today I thought you might like...anyway, I thought maybe I could get _pretty_ for you, but somewhere along the way I started to really get into it, so I just hope you like it.”

He stops rattling off excuses just long enough to look up and see Eddie’s face as he rounds the corner. The moment he sees him, he stops, bolted to the spot as his jaw _drops_. His mouth is open, but he says nothing, and it begins to worry him. For the first time he considers how off-the-mark he might have been, suddenly feeling self-conscious in the flowy skirt and “Babygirl” necklace and fake eyelashes that had made him feel so confident earlier.

Just when he’s about to panic, Eddie finally shows the effect the surprise has on him, gracelessly falling to his knees. Buck steps forward to help, but he holds out a hand to stop him.

“No, please, let me look at you,” Eddie says softly, resting on his haunches as his eyes take Buck in, soaking in the details and ravishing him with his stare. “Jesus Buck, I’m speechless. I know I’m usually a man of few words, but god, I’ve got nothing.”

“But it’s good though? You like it?”

Eddie fucking _growls_ , “The only thing stopping me from ripping the clothes from your body is how beautiful you look in them. You are _stunning_ , Buck.”

Buck can’t help himself, warm with the glow of Eddie’s praise, and he closes the distance so he can draw Eddie to his feet. He expects Eddie to sear his lips with the strength of his obvious lust, but instead his fingers trace lightly over Buck’s face, studying the way the makeup has altered his face. After searching his skin, Eddie’s eyes find his, and he is lost, out to sea with no way back to shore.

“I can’t believe you did this,” Eddie wonders aloud, his voice still soft and curious. “For _me_. The work this must have taken. But god Buck, you look incredible. I can’t stop looking at you. Your eyes are so blue, like the Gulf of Mexico on a sunny morning. And god, I can already imagine your lips taste like fresh raspberries.”

“You can try it for yourself, you know?” Buck teases him, and Eddie smiles before grazing his lips against Buck’s softly, humming his pleasure against them before pulling away. “So what do they taste like?”

“You,” Eddie answers, and satisfied with his answer, Buck leans forward to capture his lips. He is left wanting as Eddie eludes him. He is taken aback, but Eddie’s hand reaches out to sweep his thumb against his chin. “Your lipstick. I don’t want it all to rub off. Not before I fill my whole camera roll with you.”

Buck is taken aback by how shy he suddenly feels. He trusts Eddie, is struck by how adored he feels under his gaze, but to capture this moment, this fantasy, for the future? Something about that feels like _more_.

“Just for you?”

“Just for _us_ ,” Eddie corrects him, taking his hand and walking backward toward the windows and the midcentury armchairs that catch the sunlight. “When we’re old and gray and boring, I want to remember how beautiful you look right now.”

“You want that with me? Old and gray and boring?”

“I want all of it with you Buck. I did before today, but _god_ , do I mean it now. Fuck, how are you real? How are you _mine_?”

Buck is sure he’s blushing, but hopes the layers of foundation disguise it well, “For a man who was speechless a few minutes ago, you’re just full of pretty words now.”

“I can’t help it,” he smiles, guiding Buck into one of the chairs, catching the last of the setting sun. “I have nothing but pretty words for you, my love, because you are, more than ever before, the _prettiest_ man I have ever seen. I love every version of you I’ve ever seen, even the ones that I haven’t liked very much, but _god_ , this is definitely top tier.”

Buck looks up at him from under long lashes, and he gives in, leaning back into the chair as Eddie pulls out his phone. He tries to pose, tries to be sexy, but all it does is make them burst into laughter. Eddie still takes photos, catching the way his dimples bracket his berry-sweet glossy lips, and then he stands, letting Eddie take a few more shots before he drags him into the frame. Eddie is watching him closely, his gaze full of so much love and tenderness that he can’t stand it.

Lip gloss be damned, he pulls Eddie to him, and he can hear the shutter still sputtering as he claims his lips, his best attempt at kissing Eddie into oblivion.

* * *

Buck is sure that by the end, he’s sweated most of the makeup off of his face, but Eddie is still drawn to him, his fingers drifting softly over the apples of his cheeks. He’s bare but for the chains around his throat, sweaty and spent beside the man he loves.

“I bet I look like Heath Ledger’s Joker,” Buck observes, noting that Eddie’s fingertips come back pink after pressing gently against his lips. “You sure you still want all of this?”

“I’m sure,” Eddie smiles. “You’re so beautiful, Buck. I’m so lucky.”

He sighs heavily before shifting to the edge of the bed. Buck moves to follow, but his limbs are heavy and he happily sinks back into the mattress when Eddie gives a small shake of his head.

“No, let me do this for you. Get you cleaned up. Do you have something for the makeup? Does soap and water take it off?”

“Maddie bought something for it,” Buck remembers, gesturing absently toward the stairs from the loft. “I think I left the bag by the door.”

“I should have known Maddie was involved,” Eddie chuckles, coming out of the bathroom with a wet washcloth before heading toward the stairs. “Remind me to thank her.”

He returns with the bag, pouring it onto the bed next to Buck, who turns over and picks up the largest bottle, which he remembers Maddie saying was to remove the makeup. It would make sense, as it’s the only thing they purchased that is perfectly clear with no pigment.

Eddie’s eyes scan over the contents, “This is a lot for one surprise, Buck. How much did you spend?”

“It was worth it,” Buck grumbles, a slow smile coming to his face. “And in the end it wasn’t all for you. The way you looked at me? I think I might explore this side of myself more often, if you don’t mind.”

“Like hell, I’d mind.”

Eddie leans into the bed with a growl, stealing his breath with a devastating kiss before retreating to clear the products from the bed. Once they’ve been cleared, he crawls in beside Buck, beginning to wipe the damp cloth across his chest, tracing the path of his own pleasure in streaks across Buck’s abdomen, wiping away the residue and leaving soft kisses in its place.

He makes quick work of his own body, then sets aside the washcloth for another, saturating it with the bottle of micellar water. When he comes close to Buck’s face, he stops to take it in one last time, then begins by carefully removing Buck’s lashes, smiling when he finds Buck’s eyes behind them, soft without the harsh framing around them. Starting with his eyes, he begins to wipe the pigment from his face, his touch so gentle that Buck could fall asleep under his ministrations.

Eddie reaches his lips, rubbing heavily to remove the dark lipstick, and when he retreats Buck’s lips feel red and swollen. Eddie’s eyes catch on them, and then he’s gathering his face into his hands to kiss him, exploring his mouth cautiously, gratefully, hopefully removing the last of the color with his insistent mouth.

When he’s finished, Eddie falls back into bed beside him, and he’s no less critical of Buck’s face, watching him carefully with an enamored smile on his face.

“Do you still think I’m pretty?” Buck teases, still feeling the last vestiges of mascara clumped on his natural lashes. He expects Eddie to roll his eyes, like he had when he’d asked him earlier, but instead his eyes get soft, moistening with a subtle tenderness.

“Buck, it was never the makeup that made you beautiful,” his voice breaks as he explains carefully. “God, you’re always beautiful. Inside and out, the most beautiful man I have ever met. But the _confidence_ , the way you held yourself, the ease with which you transformed into this fantasy and made it yours? _Fuck_ ! That was incredible. _You’re_ incredible.”

“I can only be myself, all of myself, around you Eds, because you make it easy,” Buck admits, pulling Eddie close and wrapping his arms tightly around him. “Easy to be vulnerable, easy to experiment, and god, so easy to love you. And I do. I love the shit out of you Eddie.”

“Such pretty words,” Eddie teases him, before silencing him with another grateful kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Added thanks for Kael and Charlie because I never would have thought of the skirt but man, I mean, MAN.


End file.
